The End Can Also Be Beautiful

Amidst everything there comes a state when you try to run out from scene. The death had already given me the verdict that it has no place for a failure like me. So, I moved towards freedom, freedom for new name, new thoughts and new lifestyles. I had no vision at that time. Everything seemed to have dead within me. What left with me at that time was my low esteem and shattered heart. The time was clicking by and these thoughts were running in my mind like waves of tsunami.

The things were really getting hard for me to adjust, the dawning thought of my decision always going wrong kept hurdling me like nothing. I was in a state of sleeplessness, bad dreams and a depressed syndrome. The dawning thoughts of my failures kept me awake for whole night and then through days. The things were really hard for me and I was like helpless with tons of advice and support.

I remained seated at stair on Assi ghat in Varanasi looking at distant sky. The winds blew my hair backward and my eyes were squeezed while looking upward in distant sky. The chaos was not to end in my mind and only thing that was going in my vein was cold blood. My foot still ached for the pain of last night that death had provided to me and my shoulders pained too for I had fallen on the terrace. I wanted to run away now.

But, where, how, why, when?

The question kept on bombarding my brain and my eyes remained watery. I was in no mood to help myself fight the situation and make myself strong enough to run away for new name, fame and life. I knew the thing that “past never dies and it returns to haunt you down and that time will be more critical”. So, I kept on thinking.

My phone beeped, one of my favorite person had called and I knew that now I have to tell everything. We talked and as the call continued my assertion came to reality. I split out every feeling and confusion I had. She held up with me, calmed me down, talked to me on various issues and after couple of hours when I was calm, she hung up.

I was still seeing the distant sky but this time I was seeing the sun going down in the sky. The beautiful light spread through the sky and I smiled in observing the significance of that beauty in sunset. The beauty reflected to me hold on even the worst situation will end and the beauty will be restored again.

The  sunset signified to me that end can also be beautiful, one just need to hold on and with it a gust of cool wind touched my face and I smiled as my eyes closed for a while. For two minutes, I let my eyes be closed and all chaos and concussions of mind had eroded with tears rolling out on my cheeks.

I stood up, brushed my back with hands for dirt’s and set back home smiling and reflecting over the lesson I learned after whole one day of  breakdown.

The end can also be beautiful if one forgets the malaises to rise again with shine like a sun after dark time.